Recent articles in the news have shown, what has been a struggle for part of the GLBT community for decades, that issue is changing one’s own birth certificate to match the gender they have “transitioned” to. When I use the word “transitioned” in quotes I only mean that the state of New York, where recent law suits have been taken upon the state, does not allow transgendered individuals to change their birth certificates to match their identity. Many states, including New York, require transgender individuals to have had genital reassignment surgery which can cost $20,000 to $100,000. Also many individuals may have other reasons besides financial issues, such as health, holding them back from undergoing such a procedure.

For more information go to: ABC News (March 24th 2011)

Article says, “Non-heterosexual youth suffer disproportionate educational and criminal-justice punishments that are not explained by greater engagement in illegal or transgressive behaviors. Understanding and addressing these disparities might reduce school expulsions, arrests, and incarceration and their dire social and health consequences.”

An article in USA Today, says that a study shows that “about a third of men age 75 to 95 remain sexually active and 43% of those want more sex.”

This shows age is not a determinate in one’s sex drive, if your brain is still working, you still have desires. Physical health and ability may affect this of course.

It is always nice when I get a chance to sit back and take a little time to read the newspaper. There is just something about holding that paper in your hands and hearing the rustling sound it makes, it gives you a different feeling than reading off of a computer screen. This experience always starts out pleasant until I actually read what the paper says, which somehow always has to be something seemingly appalling. For example, which will lead to the point of my ranting, The Fort Collins Coloradoan’s Saturday, November 13th paper. There are five headlines on front page these include as follows:

1) “Teen pleads innocent: 16-year old to get jury trial in death of girl killed by falling rock”

2) “Suspect in sexual assault is identified”

3) “Fort Collins Catches Cold” (this isn’t really appalling by any means)

4) “Plaza is making headway” (this isn’t appalling either)

5) “Colorado police investigate, protect pedophilia author” (this is where it starts to get to me)

Since I do not want to post the article , I will summarize it in brief bullet points, because if you care to read the article you can find it online for your own viewing pleasure.

• Phillip Ray Greaves II, self-published a book
• Topic of book: “offers advice to pedophiles on how to make a sexual encounter with a child as safe as possible”
• Greaves had been threatened on the Internet and police would watch his home for his safety
• Title of the book: “The Pedophile’s Guide to Love and Pleasure: a Child-lover’s Code of Conduct”
• Greaves claims to have depression and “that he had sexual contact with children while still a child himself”
• Two important quotes from Greaves: he was asked about whether he had ever had sexual contact with a child as an adult, his first response was “could have,” but he changed it to “saying that he hadn’t” and the second quote by Greaves is “[t]he best advice I can give a pedophile is, accept masturbation as your best friend”

After reading this article and feeling slightly nauseous and appalled, I had several questions running through my head. Should freedom of speech be limited in some cases? Is it okay for someone to give advice to hurt a child, just like is it okay to have instructions on how to make a bomb? Where is the line drawn on except-able free speech, this blog is free speech, but do I write about how to hurt others? Should we limit free speech in this country when it involves such things as hurting others and how to do so “as safe as possible”?

At first thought I said YES, that freedom of speech should have its limitations, I do not believe in hate speech, which to me Greaves’s book falls under a similar category. Than I changed my mind and thought NO, freedom of speech should have no limitations in this country. I wouldn’t want my speech to be limited, just because someone did not like what I had to say. Now though, after getting all my thoughts down in writing, I have decided that YES, some things need to be limited, some things are not okay. Greaves has every right to think what he wants to think, because his private thoughts are not hurting anyone, but the second he puts in down where others can access it, this becomes wrong. I consider myself an open-minded person, excepting of others, but telling others or teaching others how to hurt people, children in this example, should not be allowed or except-able in this country.

It is difficult enough, I think anyone can realize this, when we put another individual up on a pedestal, especially a moral pedestal and they “fall off of it”. I personally can name two times in my life where I have thought only the highest of an individual, I thought they were the most impressive person I had met and ended up disappointing me. But this is not about this other person, this is about a person in general, a pedestal in general if you will.

Anyone that is local to the Fort Collins area that has occasionally read the newspaper has seen articles about the Rocky Mountain High School counselor, Brad Boda, that was being investigated for more than a handful of child molestation charges. The reason I bring this to light now more than six months after this information appeared in the newspaper is mainly because of the recent sentencing that occurred due to these charges. Brad Boda was sentenced Thursday, July 1st, 2010 for 20 years “after pleading guilty to two counts of sexual abuse on a child,” according to the Fort Collins Coloradoan.

But this posting is not about whether Brad Boda did this, did not do this, should have been sentenced for 20 years, or any other numerable questions that may surface. The reason I am writing now is to think about should I personally have held someone like Brad Boda on a pedestal, a moral pedestal, in particular. The reason I am stressing the idea of the moral pedestal is because I think there are many different kinds of pedestals, but in my own mind the moral is the strongest and the most heart breaking when someone “falls off of it”.

I was devastated when I heard the news of Brad Boda being investigated under allegations of child abuse/molestation and my family as a whole was crushed to think that such allegations would come up or that Brad Boda would have done such things. The most devastating part though, like I said is not the allegations (whether he is truly guilty or not - this being besides the point of what he pleaded guilty to or not), but the image of a whole of this individual. Brad Boda was my high school counselor, not by random assignment, but by choice. I wanted Brad Boda to be my counselor after meeting him my sophomore year and I switched from my counselor to him. He was always there for my to talk to and he always listened. I am not going to go in to detail of all the things that Brad Boda helped me work through and supported me in, but I just want to make it clear that he helped me in so many ways and I looked up to him with nothing, but respect and trust. Brad Boda was one of the deciding factors in my life for why I decided I wanted to be a counselor, that I wanted to help others for the rest of my life.

The point I am at now, is trying to work through that pedestal issue, that I have been addressing this whole time. I put Brad Boda up on a pedestal and he “fell off of it” and my question is now what??? What does one do when someone they have that complete trust and faith in disappoints you? When in a sense they fall from the good sense of grace that they were once held to in your eyes? Where do I go from now, it made me question my own life and my career goals? All I can think is that I have to prove him to be wrong, I have to prove this man that fell from the pedestal I held him up on and become a counselor that knows their moral obligations, that can be held to the highest of the moral code of ethics, one that does not stray in such a way as to make anyone question whether I too have fallen.

Check out this link:

http://www.denverpost.com/search/ci_14527014

Dr. Marci Bowers has been a personal hero of mine for years, working out of Trinidad, Colorado. Bower’s clinic which is known worldwide for gender reconstructive surgery is also helping to “fix” the devastating results that leaves a woman’s genitals deformed by the cultural occurrence of FGM (Female Genital Mutilation). This amazing process of reconstructing a woman’s genital area after years if not a lifetime of pain both physically and emotionally is helping women who have experienced FGM to move on with their lives.

So, tonight is going to be my first experience as an advocate for Crossroads Safehouse. I am on call over-night tonight as a DART (Domestic Abuse Response Team) volunteer and it is nerve wrecking to say the least. I figured I would write my blog about it now, since I won’t be able to give any information really regarding the experience since I do not want there to be a connection even between my feelings and what may happen tonight, for confidentiality reasons. So, I am just going to say this…although I am very excited and proud about what I am doing and the organization I am involved with I am also very nervous. I hear the nervousness never goes away no matter how long one has been doing this, every time that pager goes off I hear you panic a little bit. I am just going to try to stay calm and relaxed, focus on what needs to be done and do just that.

Wish me luck!